The Last Entry
by except 4 bunnies
Summary: Sherlock is an incarnation of the Doctor. He regenerates into a ginger. John and Mrs. Hudson are companions, Moriarty is the Master and Molly Hooper has a secret. Written in the style of John's blog. Hints of Doctor/Master if you squint.


If my therapist sees this, she'll think I've gone off the deep end. The rest of you will just think I'm playing an early April fool's joke but I don't care. This is my last blog entry. This might be my last night on earth. No, I'm not going to die. Nothing like that. I'm just going some place else.

Let me explain. Sherlock isn't dead. He's an alien. (I always knew it!) A time travelling alien named the Doctor. I wouldn't believe it myself, if I hadn't seen Sherlock's body burst into flames. The light was so bright I had to look away. When I looked back, Sherlock was gone. In his place was a stranger. He was tall and thin and pale like Sherlock but he had bright red hair.

"Hello John," he said, as if he'd known me for years.

"How do you know my name?" I asked.

"I'm the doctor," he said. "Otherwise known as Sherlock Holmes."

"But you're-" dead, I thought. "A ginger," came out instead.

"I'm a ginger?" he said grinning like a maniac. (This new Sherlock could give the old Sherlock a run for his money when it comes to insanity and that's saying something.) He grabbed a tuft of hair and examined it. "I'm a ginger! Finally! Oh this is fantastic!"

Then he swooned like a Victorian lady and I caught him. (You all can stop sniggering. What was I supposed to do, let him fall?) He opened his eyes a second later.

"Food," he groaned. "I need food right now. Maybe bananas. Bananas are good. Are bananas still good? New body so many new sensations. Strange. What about fish fingers and custard? No. Mrs. Hudson's biscuits and tea! John, take me to Baker's St. immediately!"

I don't know why I knew that he was Sherlock but somehow I did. Maybe it was something in his eyes. I helped him to the taxicab, as he was still too weak to stand. For such a skinny man, he was surprisingly heavy.

Back at the flat, we were greeted by Mrs. Hudson.

"Doctor?" she asked. "Is that you?"

"Mrs. Hudson," said the Doctor with a grin and gave her a hug.

I'd never seen Sherlock hugging anyone before. Then he demanded biscuits and tea and I realized he hadn't changed that much.

"Your companion, dear, not your housekeeper," said Mrs. Hudson but she was already putting the kettle on.

Sherlock, no, the Doctor not only ate three dozen biscuits and two pots of tea but took a bite out of everything in the fridge, including the skull. He seemed very interested in the fridge for some reason. He couldn't stop staring at it.

"There's something…odd about this fridge," he said.

Once he was done eating and obsessively staring at the fridge, he finally gave me an explanation of what was going on. Apparently, he's a timelord. He travelled the universe in a phone booth called the Tardis with Mrs. Hudson, who was one of his former companions. But he lost all of his memories in a fight with his arch nemesis the Master- Moriarty, another timelord! Mrs. Hudson had stayed his housekeeper for over 40 years, growing older while he stayed the same. He only got his memories back after he died and came back to life. He called it regenerating.

It all sounded crazy to me. But I'd seen him transform. Even Sherlock couldn't fake a thing like that. Could he? As he talked, I could see that he was growing weaker. He needed to get into the Tardis to complete his regeneration.

Then he got a text. It was Moriarty, who claimed he had the Tardis. The doctor ordered me to stay in the apartment. Naturally, I followed him.

"I thought I told you to stay in the Tar- the apartment," he said.

"If you think I'm just going to let you walk into danger…" I said. I hardly knew this new Sherlock but I wasn't about to let him die on me again.

He sighed. "In all my nine hundred and six years, not ONE companion has EVER stayed on the Tardis."

I stared at him.

"You're nine hundred?" I asked.

"And six," he said. "Now that you're here, you might as well make yourself useful."

His plan, if you could call it that, was very simple. I was going to investigate the pool and see if I could find anything, while he confronted the Master (Moriarty). Naturally it didn't work like that. As soon as the Doctor was out of sight, I was jumped by three bodyguards who'd been lurking in the shadows. I tried to struggle but there were two many of them and they were too strong. They strapped explosives to my chest brought to the pool. On the way I could hear the two of them, already deep in conversation.

"Its good to have my memories back, Doctor," said the Master. His new voice was smooth and silky. It sent shivers down my spine.

"Indeed," said the Doctor. "It amazes me, the lengths you will go to hurt me."

"Oh Doctor, I'd do anything."

The bodyguards had dropped me off behind the door, waiting for some kind of cue. That was when I first was the new Moriarty. He was an even more harmless looking bloke, brown hair, brown eyes, pug nose but the look on his face was anything but. All my nightmares that aren't about public nudity or Sherlock turning into a serial killer are about that guy.

"Where's the Tardis?" asked the Doctor. He could be pretty scary too.

But the Master just giggled.

"Oh Doctor, you didn't really think I had it did you? You're so naïve."

"You told me you had something I want."

"Now I do!" said the Master in a singsong voice. He opened the door and grabbed me by the scruff of my neck. "I've got your little pet. Isn't he cute? I thought you went for earth girls but then, your interests have always been…diverse."

And so on and so forth. This new Moriarty really liked to monologue. I felt a strange sense of déjà vu standing by the pool, explosives strapped to my chest and a laser pointing at my forehead. The eerie blue glow of the pool and the look in the Doctor's eyes were familiar, as was the absolute certainty that I was going to die. But then there were the muffled sounds of a struggle and the laser on my forehead blinked out. If the master noticed, he didn't show it. He just went right on talking. Moments later (I don't know how long. I had lost all sense of time) we heard a voice from behind us.

"Put your hands where I can see them."

It was Molly Hooper!

"Molly?" said the Master. Clearly he was just as surprised to see her as I was.

"Put your hands where I can see them," she repeated, "or I'll shoot."

She'd "borrowed" Sherlock's revolver and she looked like she knew how to use it.

Slowly the Master put his hands up.

"You can't actually kill me," he said.

"I know," she said. "You'll just regenerate, which will be extremely messy and painful and, more importantly, buy us some time."

The Doctor took the hint and began to strip the explosives off my chest. Molly revealed that she was a remember of the Torchwood Team (Welsh bisexual alien hunters, according to the Doctor). The Master was impressed.

"Maybe I've underestimated you, Molly," he said. "You could be so much more than a fake fake girlfriend."

Then the Doctor and I took off running. We didn't know how long Molly could hold off the Master so we took all kinds of weird twists and turns, trying to keep him off our trail. After what felt like an eternity, we reached the apartment.

"What now?" I asked.

We obviously couldn't stay there. It was the first place the Master would think to look.

"Of course!' said the doctor suddenly. "The refrigerator!"

He took out a metal device with a blue glowing tip (apparently its called a sonic screwdriver) and buzzed the refrigerator with it. There was a proprio-visuo interference field around it, he explained. In other words, something spacy wacy was going on. He pressed some buttons on the sonic screwdriver. There was a whirring noise and the refrigerator transformed into a blue phone booth.

He smiled at it like an old friend.

"Oh you sexy, sexy thing," he said.

"Its good to see the Tardis again," said Mrs. Hudson.

"Would you like to come with me?" said the Doctor.

Mrs. Hudson shook her head. "I'm too old for running, Doctor."

"Come on," he said. "Just one last trip."

"But its never just one trip, is it?" said Mrs. Hudson.

"Exactly!" said the doctor, grinning broadly and Mrs. Hudson disappeared into the blue box.

"I'll just find a new flatmate then," I muttered.

"What?" said the Doctor. "Aren't you coming with us?"

"I thought you and Mrs. Hudson…"

"Mrs. Hudson is my landlady, John," said the Doctor. "You're my best friend. Besides, there's plenty of room for three in the Tardis."

Mrs. Hudson's head popped out. "I already packed your bags, dear."

I noticed my suitcase on the floor.

"So how about it?" said the Doctor. "I can take you any place, any time. Would you like to see the universe?"

"Oh god yes."

Oh and Mrs. Hudson is coming with us! She said she was too old for running but when the Doctor asked her to go on one last trip she agreed and I noticed she'd already packed her bags.

The box was bigger on the inside. It was my final proof that everything the Doctor told me was real. Tomorrow, I'm going to wake up on another planet or in another time. Goodbye everyone. The Doctor says he'll be able to bring me back on the day I left so it will be like no time at all has passed. Lestrade, Sherlock won't be around to help you any more but I have a feeling you won't be getting such interesting cases any more. The man draws danger to himself like a magnet. Sarah, I'll miss you but you probably won't miss your life being endangered because of me. Harry, tell mum I love her. Molly, if you're reading this, the Doctor says to say hi to Jack, whoever he is.

Goodbye everyone and goodnight. The lurching of the Tardis will lull me to sleep.

Comments:

WHAT ARE YOU SMOKNG?!–Harry Watson

You're joking, right?- Bill Murray

ah yes. the tardis.- theimprobableone

Freak- Sally Donovan

John, we're about to land on Mars in the 51st century. Put your laptop away.- the Doctor


End file.
